hi, i'm jen.

runswithpansies @ 2005-05-18T23:14:00

2005-05-19T06:46:01Z

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It's 11 PM and I am done (wait! im finished because meat is done, people are finished- thanks Mrs. Kruczynski) I am finished with my homework. For some reason though, I am on the computer. what the hell? I watched THE MASK today with Kento. What a great movie. and Cameron Diaz is extremely hot. I'm jealous.

Lately, I've been having a really hard time being positive. It's not like horrible things are happening, but enough not-so-good things are happening that it is resulting in me going into my room and crying. If you know me, I barely ever cry. Swimming has been really tough. At CCS I swam like shit. Nothing really i can say about that to make it sound any better. I was just really slow. A lot of people did really well though. Russ swam incredibly which was no surprise. Emily of course was phenomenal (what a great word.) Jenna and Victoria did so so so so well. And the same with everyone else. I told Mike I was thinking of quitting because I basically suck and he told me that we could work something out so I didn't quit completely. That really makes me happy that he cares enough about me to work with me to keep me swimming. ITs either that or he just feels like if I quit, I wasted all of his time or he just needs someone to be the 4th person on a relay which i really really hope isnt the case.

My family has been extremely <insert some negative word here- can't think of one.> I feel like my parents have almost given up on me. They don't support anything I do which makes it a bit harder to want to try. My grades suck and i dont know how to swim anymore. Basically thats all that i do so im worthless to them now. that sounds so much worse than it really is. sorry im being over dramatic. try reading with a sarcastic voice in mind.

Big meet this weekend. Jeremy called again and this time i answered. that was weird. excuse me sir, i didnt call you back because i didnt want to talk to you. i was drunk when i met you and never want to talk to you. I also got hit in the face with a bungee cord today. i didnt cry. i thought i would but i didnt. go jen.

Pretty soon summer will be here. I cant wait. go summer. I want to watch Fast Food Nation and Hotel Rwanda! OOHHHHH and also!!!!! anyone who would like to join me on a 24-hour relay walk for cancer please let me know. its not until August 20th. i need a team of 24, each person walks an hour. Im pretty sure that you can walk with other people. i dont know all of the information, i just think its a nice idea becuase Brenda has cancer and she had to have a blood transfusion today. i really hope she is ok. i love you brenda. Shirley, my almost grandma, had a triple bypass today. how is everyone getting so sick?

runswithpansies @ 2005-05-14T19:19:00

2005-05-15T02:21:37Z

I really was going to write a fat entry about how much I want to cry, but it isnt worth it. there is too much. i suck. just put on a happy face.

let's pack our bags and settle where palm trees grow

2005-04-27T02:53:04Z

I can't focus at all. The worse part is that there is no time to not focus. Just stay positive. I think I found a talent. I can usually find good things in shitty times. or at least i'm good at seeming happy. its always tough when one person is down because moods are contagious and can rub off on other people. its kinda cool that you can change a persons entire day around just by being cheerful and positive. really. as corny as that sounds it totally is true.

i hope you're surgery went well brenda. i know this time they'll get all of the cancer. you're break is coming. thanks for always being there for me even when you're going through shitty times. i love you.

i need somebody with a human touch

2005-04-24T00:07:12Z

yay for emily!! she is one of my favorite people ever. i definitely would not be able to swim without her. that was so much fun today especially because we randomly but seasnails? what the hell.

runswithpansies @ 2005-04-22T19:28:00

2005-04-23T02:40:50Z

grosssssssssss today was the most miserable day ever. except not, but i was just sooo tired. sleep has become a luxury and i am learning to survive without it. im just always so tired and would do anything to be able to sleep through the night but for some reason i wake up 3-4 times. i guess i just have a lot on my mind, but its hard to talk to people (go livejournal!) i always feel like i am bothering someone which is probably the truth.

at least burrito friday was awesome as always. today was extra good though because sooo many people went. i loved it most of all because leelee and i got to talk and i havent actually said more to her than "hey" all week. i missed her last burrito friday - sorry my old burrito made you barf:( - i havent laughed that much in such a long time. i love you guys.

Guess who has tickets for her space holiday/the faint/ bright eye!! yeah jessica and i! thats soooo incredibly awesome. i am so stoked for this concert. it will most definitely be the most outrageous thing ever. and we dont even have to sneak out because we miraculously got parent approval. what?!? AMAZING

the things they carried is an amazing book. i mean wow. so cool. i hope things get better. oh yes, and my happiest moment of the week! TAP raised over 150 bucks from a bake sale for battered women. that was by far the highlight of the week. the month even. i cant believe that much just from a bake sale. support battered women! yay

you know it kills me to see such a pretty girl so tired :(

2005-04-07T02:39:34Z

It's happened again. They found more cancer. One would think that she could just take some time, time without any medical problems, and enjoy life. Always worried about making rent, how to pay the medical bills, how to have hope after so many let downs. More cancer?!?! I wish I could take away all of her pain. It kills me to see her now. Almost lifeless, but still trying to be positive although she has little hope this time. who can blame her? they didn't get it all last time. what will make this time any different? when will she get a break? she wasn't even fully recovered from 2 other medical issues.
I remember last october, when we went to that concert. i never had so much fun in my life. it seemed like no one else mattered. it was just us sitting there and sharing stories. i would do anything to see her so happy again. even if it were just for one minute.

A to the D to the other fuckin D

2005-03-31T22:55:39Z

Gotta love lil' pocketknife. yay for bad rap.
yay for leelee making my spring break exciting and sorry that weezer is sold out. we'll just go to san francisco anyhow and have a grand time.
yay for seeing Jackie for the first time in 37 million years.
yay for silly books like "be more chill" (everyone should read it because it has a cool name)
yay for emily because she's cool and makes swimming somewhat fun.
yay for beautiful california weather. i love it.

i need to get a catcher in the rye book. i need to do homework. but not yet!

oh and fab 5 kids (i just found out that fab 5 originated from the beatles. duh.) fake sadies is on saturday and we are dressing up and going to laser tag. awesome.

runswithpansies @ 2005-03-11T18:03:00

2005-03-12T02:45:51Z

OK guys. that was wayy fun last night. even though we didn't get to the shrinky dinks, it was still a blast. Marissa, Molly, Becca, Laura, LeeLee, Nika, and Jessica all sleptover last night. It was so cool. Molly nika and i spent probably 30 minutes playing Bop it. Marissa makes me so happy. She definitely can amuse herself wherever she is and is wonderful at lincoln logs (yeah, those cool blocks you played with when you were 5). yay for pastels :)

I definitely want to be a dietitian. Along with a chef and possibly a teacher. As different as those all sound, they are all quite similar. If I were a chef though, I'd most likely be a baker. like i want a cute little shop that serves grilled cheese and dessert. odd combination but whatever.

My mom is considering letting me go to Washington DC for this leadership conference that I was nominated for by an old St. francis kid! thats awesome. And my books came in today!!! i love to read. yay! gross. swimmeet tomorrow... it should be fun. or at least it is my goal to make it fun. i will. well it is burrito fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyy. what place will we go to this week???

if you want to sing out, sing out

2005-03-07T05:08:57Z

yay for LeeLee and Harold and Maude :) I totally am going to play that for english next time. Hopefully it'll go better thn when i played the BFF song...Ms.D REALLY didnt like that one...

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. I'm pretty sure that's from Finding Nemo. That's like my motto at the moment. just keep swimming. i feel like im just going through the motions because swimming just isnt very interesting. but it's not just swimming. everything just seems pretty boring to me. it's not like i have nothing to do or anything. my grades aren't doing so well so i could definitely work on that. i have exactly one million and 3 books that i want to read, so i could be doing that to. along with other various things (MY BOOKSHELF THAT MY DAD AND I MADE IS FINISHED!!!!!!--i just had to add that in there to excite this entry a little and stop being so self-pity, cry for me) ok enough complaining blah blah blah

reminders to myself: 1> dont rely on other people for things you can simply do yourself 2> dont be a bitch 3> do your laundry 4> read :) 5> do better in Bio because honestly, you suck 6> dont take things too seriously because that is just lame. 7> hang out with jackie, laura, Becca, nika, jill, angela and jenna more because they're so fun

put a smile on your face, make the world a better place.

2005-02-23T05:12:17Z

I had a very good time in San Diego. There were definitely times that sucked about it. Lots of emotional bullshit. I wish I was able to express my feelings. It's just too hard for me to trust people. I've only fully been able to trust one person, and even her I can't tell everything. I try to be as open as possible with everyone, but that's even hard because most people don't even care. Most rather I just listen to them. That's not a bad thing though, everyone likes someone to complain or have someone to compliment them.
This is lame...my religion teacher told my class this story about this guy who everyone loved because he treated everyone the same and didn't judge anyone based on their past. i wish i had that quality. i realized that even though people do STUPID/DUMB/BITCHY/HORRIBLE things, they still can be somewhat cool. i guess i can take it back now. i don't hate anyone.
i'm just frustrated with a lot of things. i can't even get myself to type in this online journal that nobody even reads. at least san diego was beautiful even though it was rainy and stormy and everybody got zero sleep. i want to live in southern california so badly. its absolutely gorgeous there :)

runswithpansies @ 2005-02-16T20:34:00

2005-02-17T04:43:00Z

so excited for San Diego! I really hope it doesn't rain... snowboarding trip doesn't look like it's going to work out like it was supposed to.
there is nothing more that i hate than being told i'm selfish. i really hate when other people are selfish, but i hate it one million and 56 times more when i am. i should be more understanding, but i can't get myself to like her/be friends with her. i shouldn't be outwardly mean either, but it;s so tough when she is just a bitch to everyone. i seriously don't think i've truly not liked at all any person, until now. ive also learned that i can't be around people who are so negative all the time. i am so sick of self pity and feeling sorry for myself and cheering people up who are always feeling sorry for themselves, although they do have good reasons that i will probably never understand. i try to understand and be motivating but it sucks that nothing that you say will bring them up and you get to the point that youre repeating yourself so much...i love complaining to the internet
yay for san diego

MAN, I feel like a woman (by amazing transparent man, not shania twain)

2005-02-06T20:25:53Z

What an amazingly random night :)
My favorite part had to be the cool table game at billiards that Jackie has gotten me addicted to or the park with Angela and Jessica or the random pizza run at 1am. The pie was good too. It was all fun. I even went to a St. Francis basketball game. WTH?
Yay for weird random nights, although I do wish that LeeLee could have came. and Lizzy. I miss Lizzy so much, even though I see her at school, I still feel Lizzy-deprived :(

I want a sexy, smoldering Leon. Go watch "how to make an american quilt." Then you can see sexy, smoldering Leon. What a babe minus his chest hair. gross.

What a beautiful day :)

My sister always said that hardships come in twos

2005-02-04T06:50:58Z

What a beautiful day :)

weekend= Burrito Friday (of course) and Fake Sadies!

Ultimate betrayal...ouch, that totally sucks. I value friendship so much. I just don't understand as always.

I can't believe the about of what the fuck moments there were this week. Holy shit. WTH? (Jessica, I'm trying to get the WTH going sorta)

you know it kills me to see such a pretty girl so tired :)

2005-01-26T06:06:11Z

on my walk home from swim practice I started to think... I have multiple personalities. There is the Jen that is very focused, motivated and organized. I write everything down- all my plans (swim, homework, babysitting, random events). I don't waste any time, every moment is filled with something. There is also the Jen that is extremely relaxed and laid back. I don't care about anything. Just whatever happens happens. Go with the flow. Sometimes I am this extremely happy person. I just love everyone and everything. I hug everyone I see (I love it when I'm like this). THen I also have this side to me that is very superficial (i'm embarrassed to admit it, but it is definitely true). I always try look pretty or whatever. Try to be thin. Try to impress? only care what other people think... LAME!

I wish I could find some healthy balance between all four. Well I guess not-so-much the fourth one. It's dumb to care only what other people think about you, but it is hard not to. I don't know. I hate that it's true, but it is. There is definitely a good time to be on task, not waste any time. But there is just as much a need to be relaxed. I'm searching for the correct balance at the moment. I have been the laid back relaxed person for wayyy too long. I'm starting to annoy myself. I DONT want to become too prioritized? or hmm other word...

LeeLee and I sort of wrote a book. It's only about a fourth of a page long, but it is the most hilarious/strange/crazy thing you will read. No, we weren't drunk or on drugs, but here it is...
-Something Catchy-
Book.
It either started in English or Pe. Both classes made up of unlikely kids, tards. Retards if you're friendly, but no politically correct. Developmentally disabled. Something's wrong with classes like htose. I don't know what. It makes one feel more retarded. Groups of people who don't know what they're doing. no one wanting to do anything, no productivity just because it doesn't seem worthwhile. THere's no thinking tank. Not even a tank at all. Not even those plastic bags at the carnival with the one fish that will wind up dead no matter how hard one tries to spare it's life. BEcause it was won. A prize. the A+? ANything that comes easy isn't appreciated. Anything hard doesn't wan to be done. It's always great when it's done though.
This is not the teenager's manifesto. This isn't the communist manifesto. we're no Marxists. We're not teens. We're not a carnival prize.
Book Worthy.
The world spinning backwards while kids who just took a religion class smoke a bowl and kids who went through a metal detector take a test. It's not insane. It's different. Things shattered. THings used. A lack of specifics in a world moving too fast to even notice that the table has not only been moved across the room but later used at firewood. Things.

This was obviously mostly written by LEeLee because she is 72 times more creative than me. No matter. It is still very strange. If someone would like to explain it, that would be awesome.

Nothing bad for 2-3 weeks. Ready. Go!!!!!!

Runaway, Runaway

2005-01-17T07:17:38Z

I don't fucking understand anything. I am so angry right now. Holy shit. How come things are so bad. There are so many homeless people. There is no way to really help them either. If you give them money, they have a chance of wasting it and spending it on alcohol. I mean, yeah, they are happy for a few hours, but what happens when it gets too cold? what happens when they are soo hungry? what happens when it rains? what happens when there aren't any kind people to help them out? what happens then?! I don't understand. How can someone live like that? Not knowing how they are going to get food for the day. Not knowing where you're going to sleep. Not knowing anything. It makes me want to cry.
I'm so afraid of the future. What if I end up like that? And how can I just say "they" as if they (there I go again with the "they") are worth less than I am? That's such bullshit. I really hate that.
I'm so frustrated with everything. Nothing has even gone wrong. I'm just being lame again. I hate that too. I hate being lame. I wish I were more thankful for everything I have.
I sorta just want to restart everything. Too bad there isn't a restart button on life like there is on an old pinball machine or any video game ever.
I want summer to be here. I want it to be warm outside. I want everyone to be happy.

runswithpansies @ 2005-01-16T17:40:00

2005-01-17T01:44:44Z

Berkeley was so fun today! We got there soooo incredibly early though and just drove around. The meet part wasn't so exciting, but after we got to walk up and down Telegraph. We ate crepes from the orgasmic crepe restaurant!!!!! I cant wait to go back, just for the crepes :) And then Andrew and I visited Mark and watched some of a football game. WHat a fun day. Im going to be optimistic forever...

No surf in colorado anyway...

2005-01-08T22:03:40Z

I'm such a retard and screwed up my ankle again. It's the size of a golf ball at the moment. This time it was from falling down stairs which is pretty sad, but it's better than the last time when it was from playing capture the flag during PE. I'm so afraid to tell Mike. Lame.
Jessica now can drive and it is the greatest thing ever. We had a burrito Friday!!! they're back on :) Burritos are so great. It's amazing hte amount of ways you can eat one. First there is LeeLee's technique which is just noramlly eating it. Nothing special to it. Then there is my way. I like to massacre my burritos with a fork and take most of the guts out. And Finally there is Jessica's way where you politely eat it was a fork and knife. I love burritos.
I'm stuck in 7th grade and I hate it. How can I be so lame? It's quite disturbing.
I think everyone should go see Closer. I went last night with Jackie, Tyler and LeeLee. It's such a wonderful movie. It's purely about sex and it only has 4 actors, but it is extremely good. Go see it.
I've lost my motivation to do anything. I used to be so go.go.go. and barely procrastinated, but now I can't seem to get anything done and I am so unorganized. It's horrible.
Alex made me a salad with smile on it :) that is my all time favorite song ever. at least for now it is.

Boom Boom, Boy you look so sexy (yes that is britney spears :) )

2005-01-04T05:05:44Z

well, break is pretty much over. that makes me want to cry. this semester I am promising myself I will try super hard in order to make up for last semester which completely raped me in the ass. I spent my last day getting service hours, going to Homestead and just hanging out and then going to swim practice and attempting to get back into shape (i havent worked out hard core in about 3 weeks and Im turning into a fatty).
Visiting everyone at homestead was soo fun though. I got to see Lizzy again (she was never mad at me. For some reason I really thought she was, but I guess I just like to make up problems).
I wish I was creative and was able to write some great thought of mine, but my mind is pretty much blank at the moment. I really don't want to start school again, but I think this part of the year will be more action-packed. Or at least it is my goal to make it better. well actually it will be because fake sadies is coming up and i cant wait!

ok. recap of the year.

2005-01-02T07:18:27Z

Wow. 2004 seemed to have gone by extremely fast. I don't even remember it all, but I will try.

Last new years was spent in Bear Valley with Jackie and family friends. I actually almost missed new years last year, but woke up 10 seconds before. We were watching Austin Powers after an awesome day of snowboarding and totally fell asleep. Lame, I know. I don't remember too much of January, except there was the Berkeley meet which was quite fun and we ate orgasmic crepes.
February was pretty cool. I went on a cruise to the Caribbean with the same family friends that almost missed new years with me. That was quite a party. I sadly missed the San Diego swim meet, but I heard it wasn't that great anyhow. Swim for st francis had also started. That was pretty fun too. Dave (the coach) is probably the most awesome guy ever. I'm so excited to have him coach us again this year!
March I don't remember. Fake Sadies was probably around this time. That was when me, Jessica, Lizzy, LeeLee, Jon Jon, and Matt dressed up and went to golfland in order to protest Sadies. I think this year we're going to laser tag. Laser tag in dresses... MADNESS! also sometime around here, we went breakfasting. This would be where you TP, egg, orange juice, pancake mix, and whip cream someone's house. Poor soccerwhore...NOT! We definitely have to do that again. Maybe not as bad because that was probably a bitch to clean up, well she is a bitch. Let's do it again. Fab 5. Yay!
I don't remember April. May was an insane month though. CCS... I went 1:01 in the fly, but haven't been able to touch it since sadly... May was just really busy with school and everything. June... We had a meet in Clovis. That was extremely fun. I think that was my favorite swim meet ever. Oh! the night before clovis was fun too. That was the night my parents left so there was a mini party. I think that was then because I remember the drive up to clovis was one of the worst things ever and the first day swimming there, I wanted to die. Also around this time Jessica, LeeLee and I went to see Treephort. What a crazy band. I dont think any band can beat them live. One guy lit his balls on fire which was pretty gross and two of them ended up stripping completely. wow. so insane. I remember LeeLee and I fell asleep on the way home in Avi's car. sorta rude. oh well. couldn't help it. I guess I should mention finished first year of high school. i dont know if that's an accomplishment, but if it isn't, I think it should be.
Summer went by quickly. I do know that I rode my bike a few times a week to teach swim lessons. It took my around 40 minutes. One time I made it in 35. That was the greatest thing. I also went to Texas for a week by myself. That was way fun. Maybe I'll move to Texas one day. Or actually no I won't, but houses are much cheaper there and according to miss chizam the world is going to end pretty soon so there won't even be time to move to Texas even if I wanted to, which I don't. I went to warped tour with Jessica, Lizzy and LeeLee. We actually didn't have to pay and snuck in and pretended we were with a band. That was exciting. And I went crowd surfing for the first time which was extremely exciting. That was a really fun day. Jackie and I hung out with Ryan a lot. We had a bon-fire on the beach. And went on a hill and listened to Jem. Swimming was lame in the summer and I barely swam at all. And then we finally got our 3 weeks off of swim (greatest 3 weeks ever!!!!) There was also the SUNN sleepover. Well except no one ever slept. That was a crazy night. whoa.
September... Major humpday (I want another one sooo badly) that's all i remember about september. October was halloween, but that wasn't too exciting. November was Mission Viejo. That was extremely fun. Kiss the flag Andrew! I think in November was when the open house at school was. I talked to Laura and realized I'm not a very good friend. I'm trying to work on that.
December... I don't know if it was good or bad. Mostly good. Brian and I broke up. It sorta sucks, but is the best for both of us. I couldn't handle a long-distance relationship, it's just too much. Nearly a year and a half. That's a long time. Besides that, there was the dance. Strangely it was soo fun. Thanks Matt/obese husband for going with me :) Also, I went snowboarding with Jackie. We were pretty bummed that Jon Cefalu couldn't go, but it was sooo much fun. I want to go back. And new year's this year was ten times better. First of all we actually stayed awake the whole night. We went over to the same family friends cabin again. When we got home, we had a mini humpday with a side of baking cookies :) It may not sound too exciting, but it was good.
To start the first day of the year, Jackie and I went on a walk in the snow and finished up a camera (I love pictures) and then went to a family reunion type thing that was strangely sorta fun, except I didn't know anyone and they knew me.
That year seemed to go by so incredibly fast, but it was pretty jam-packed. There's so much other stuff that happened but I really can't remember it all, so that's just highlights. This was more so that I remember the year. I feel like I just wrote myself a really long yearbook entry. Loser.

Friends Forever we will always be together.

2004-12-23T21:54:03Z

I am really thankful for all of my friends. I don't know where I would be without them. Yesterday I wrote Tyler a 7 page letter filled with complaints and worries and he actually read it. Thanks Tyler :) That's so awesome to have people that care enough to drop everything and be there for you.

I think one of my hugest problems is that I like to hide a lot of feelings. That could also be better because a lot of the time people don't want to know your small pathetic problems. I have such a hard time trusting people. I always worry that they may think I'm dumb for thinking a certain thing which is even more retarded because I'm usually not one to base my life around other people's thoughts and opinions. But I guess I really am. When I'm really angry I usually just put on a huge, fake smile which makes everything better, but it really doesn't. It just makes it temporarily go away. I don't like to make a big deal out of small things though. I think that is the most retarded thing ever. There's a time and a place to get angry, but making everything such a huge thing doesn't help, it just makes the problem worse. That's why I like to smile and shrug it off. I pretty much have no other complaints and I feel refreshed letting everything out (sorry tyler), but I wish it was easier to tell people how you truly feel. I just let everything pile and then explode later. But I like to keep most things to myself.

Sugar Ray makes me so happy. This song is called Personal Space Invader. It's pretty awesome and somehow reminds me of the phenomenauts (spelling is wrong i think, but they are an awesome band).

Sometimes I just want to be left alone
Move your big head
It's my way go and get your own
All my friends can't relate

No time off to hesitate
To my head touch my face
Two steps back you're in my space

One more impossible to position
Got the high score
Forgot to put the letterage

thank the Lord for people like Angela!

2004-12-22T00:28:00Z

m0ochYy : ooo and we have to have our movie night sometime
m0ochYy : rocky horror picture showww :-D
fiNGeRsiNaPaN: ohhh
fiNGeRsiNaPaN: i knowwww
fiNGeRsiNaPaN: toucha toucha touchhhh me i want to feel dirrrrty
m0ochYy : haha
m0ochYy : if someone were to read just that part of our convo
m0ochYy : we'd be in biiigggg trouble
fiNGeRsiNaPaN : hahahahaha
fiNGeRsiNaPaN : im totally laughing out loud
fiNGeRsiNaPaN : i totally can say lol and mean it
fiNGeRsiNaPaN : but i wont because i hate lol
m0ochYy : hahahah

That makes me so happy.

Im Dreaming of a white Christmas... or one where people aren't selfish whores

2004-12-21T04:22:55Z

I am so sick of everyone and their selfishness! I seriously can't stand it anymore. Christmas time makes people 10 times more selfish than they usually are. Everyone wants to get presents for people. Not because they want them to be happy, but because they want presents back or because they just want to look good. People are such whores. No one can simply say "thank you" or "excuse me". I can't stand that. Two words can make such a difference in people's days. I don't understand why that can't happen. Oh wait, people just suck. That's why. I feel bad that I'm complaining about everyone, but I am sick of it. I want everyone to unselfish themselves. I have so much more to complain about, but I'm going out with Laura and Becca... the coolest people in the world, so I may not have to complain later because they are so genuine and care about everyone. I love them!

12345678910!

2004-12-18T06:52:35Z

My mom always counts to 10 when she's really pissed off. Ok. this is going to sound lame, but I don't think many people read this anyhow so it doesn't really matter. I was on a taper for the past 2 weeks getting ready for the fatty meet this weekend, BUT our entries never got turned in...or they were turned in after the meet closed. that sucks. Emily shaved her hairy legs for no reason, except it was getting gross, so good job Emily! She was the other one that got majorly screwed by the miss entry thing. That totally sucks!!!!! Oh well. There is nothing I can do about it.
Andrew's holiday party was tonight. It was fun in a weird way. We ate a ton! and made gingerbread men. Emily and I made twin men and won movie tickets! And I got to see Katie Sun! I totally miss her at swimming, she was awesome, but she is doing what makes her happy which is ten times cooler. Swimming isnt the thing you can do if you only half like it (angelaaaaaaa :) i love you.) It takes up so much of your life and causes you to miss out on hanging out with friends nearly every weekend! But not this weekend because Im not entered in the meet!!!! so frustrating!!!!

Jackie's 18th birthday is tomorrow! I'm baking her a cake at the moment. I hope she has the best day ever tomorrow. She completely deserves it. I've never met someone so hardworking and ambitious as her. She is definitely the coolest person ever and I hope she has a great birthday! I love you Jackie!!! And there will most definitely be a hump day in the near future in her honor. I hope. If not, something even more crazy and exciting (like snowboarding during new years:)! ) Happy Birthday Jackie!

Not bad

2004-12-14T21:20:54Z

ok. today was so much better than I thought it was going to be. Jessica gave me BFF underwear that actually says BFF!!!! first final= history (barf) that didnt go so well actually. after it though, it was extremely fun. Becca, Laura and I went to house of bagels. the bagels were so delicious for some reason. well I guess bagels are always really good. I started pulling on this string that was attached to my shirt and I ended up ripping my entire shirt, so the strap fell off. it was sort of like tarzan and jane after. it was so uncomfortable and now im sad because I really like that tanktop. oh well. While Becca and I were studying for spanish and french, Laura went to safeway to get candy, except she called it fat because she decided you cant have candy before 10. Laura is the most awesome person in the world. and im sure everyone agrees that she gives the best hugs ever. it's not like those hugs that people you dont really like that much give you. a lot of people just give hugs. I think it's an excuse to touch. I sometimes hug people, but only when im in a good mood, or else its just not fun. anyhow, Laura gives everyone the nicest hugs and it just makes you feel important when you get a Laura hug. So, after we got back to school, after eating soooo much chocolate, we started throwing hugs (kisses except with white and milk chocolate mixed together) at everyone and told them it was a "happy first day of finals" present. I think that made everyone happy. It made me happy because it just released the tension and made today seem like a happy day rather than a lame, I-dont-want-to-be-here day. the french final was sooo much easier than I thought it was going to be, so it was ok that I didnt study.
Today was a good day and its only 1:20. cool.

im a retard

2004-12-14T03:33:54Z

im a retard a posted the same entry twice.
i need to study.